A man and his wife are arguing. She is upset because he comes home from work every evening and plops down on the sofa with the remote control. He seems completely oblivious to her plight as she struggles to keep their two children from killing each other while simultaneously trying to keep dinner from burning on the stove. She shoots him dirty looks, but he is so focused on the football game that he doesn't even notice, and she says nothing.........
Later on, when they are all sitting at the dinner table eating, he chuckles and says, "Chicken again, honey?" Suddenly, she explodes at him. "You're always criticizing me! You don't like it? Maybe you should cook dinner for the rest of the week!" The husband is genuinely taken aback. "I didn't mean anything by it, honey. What's wrong?" She rolls her eyes and mutters, "Nothing." Annoyed, the husband does not press the issue, and for the rest of the meal, both husband and wife are brooding, speaking only to the children and not to one another. They continue to ignore each other for the rest of the evening. The wife gets more and more irritated as she corrals the kids and fights to get them bathed and ready for bed while her husband works on the computer to complete an unfinished task for his job. At bedtime, husband and wife exchange a terse "Good night" and collapse on opposite sides of the bed, still irritated with one another.
If you have been married for any significant period of time, you can relate to this couple. So what went wrong?
Both husband and wife allowed the devil to influence them in this situation, turning them against each other and causing unnecessary exasperation. Satan used a spirit of offense to drive a wedge between them, and a fight that could have easily been averted ended up ruining the entire evening. The first problem was that the wife did not ask her husband for help with the children while she made dinner. Instead, she stewed silently, getting angrier and angrier while he relaxed on the sofa after a long, hard day at work. Had she let him know that she needed his help, he may well have gotten up to help her. This was the first open door that Satan took advantage of. Obviously, we see her frustration finally come out at the dinner table when her husband makes what she perceives to be an antagonistic remark. This is the result of allowing offense to build up inside of you without making any effort to resolve the situation.
Now before you husbands get too smug, let's look at where the husband went wrong! Although he may have had a hard day at work, it is obvious that he did not make the effort to communicate with his wife when he got home. He could have told her just how long a day he'd had, and she may have been more understanding of his need to relax. At the same time, as the father and head of the household, he should have made the effort to help his wife with the children without her necessarily having to ask for help. Whether he simply kept them out of the kitchen while she was cooking, helped them with their school work, or went outside to play with them, he should have taken a proactive role in helping his wife and further developing his relationship with his children.
As we ultimately see, the situation escalates outrageously, with more and more offense being sown by the enemy as the evening goes on. Eventually, husband and wife go to sleep, still angry with one another.
How can we avoid situations like this? The key is to communicate. I cannot stress enough the importance of communicating with your spouse. By communicating honestly and being transparent with one another, you will be much more successful at avoiding Satan's trap of offense in your marriage. When you are irritated or angry with your spouse, tell them! Don't let it build up inside of you to the point where you explode.
This week as you seek to build and improve upon your marriage, make it a point to communicate your feelings to one another, keeping in mind that your spouse is not the enemy, and that Satan is the one attempting to sow strife and offense into your marriage. As you become more and more accustomed to communicating and being open with one another, you will find yourselves arguing less and less, and you'll also discover an intimacy with your spouse that is beyond anything you have ever experienced together.
Later on, when they are all sitting at the dinner table eating, he chuckles and says, "Chicken again, honey?" Suddenly, she explodes at him. "You're always criticizing me! You don't like it? Maybe you should cook dinner for the rest of the week!" The husband is genuinely taken aback. "I didn't mean anything by it, honey. What's wrong?" She rolls her eyes and mutters, "Nothing." Annoyed, the husband does not press the issue, and for the rest of the meal, both husband and wife are brooding, speaking only to the children and not to one another. They continue to ignore each other for the rest of the evening. The wife gets more and more irritated as she corrals the kids and fights to get them bathed and ready for bed while her husband works on the computer to complete an unfinished task for his job. At bedtime, husband and wife exchange a terse "Good night" and collapse on opposite sides of the bed, still irritated with one another.
If you have been married for any significant period of time, you can relate to this couple. So what went wrong?
Both husband and wife allowed the devil to influence them in this situation, turning them against each other and causing unnecessary exasperation. Satan used a spirit of offense to drive a wedge between them, and a fight that could have easily been averted ended up ruining the entire evening. The first problem was that the wife did not ask her husband for help with the children while she made dinner. Instead, she stewed silently, getting angrier and angrier while he relaxed on the sofa after a long, hard day at work. Had she let him know that she needed his help, he may well have gotten up to help her. This was the first open door that Satan took advantage of. Obviously, we see her frustration finally come out at the dinner table when her husband makes what she perceives to be an antagonistic remark. This is the result of allowing offense to build up inside of you without making any effort to resolve the situation.
Now before you husbands get too smug, let's look at where the husband went wrong! Although he may have had a hard day at work, it is obvious that he did not make the effort to communicate with his wife when he got home. He could have told her just how long a day he'd had, and she may have been more understanding of his need to relax. At the same time, as the father and head of the household, he should have made the effort to help his wife with the children without her necessarily having to ask for help. Whether he simply kept them out of the kitchen while she was cooking, helped them with their school work, or went outside to play with them, he should have taken a proactive role in helping his wife and further developing his relationship with his children.
As we ultimately see, the situation escalates outrageously, with more and more offense being sown by the enemy as the evening goes on. Eventually, husband and wife go to sleep, still angry with one another.
How can we avoid situations like this? The key is to communicate. I cannot stress enough the importance of communicating with your spouse. By communicating honestly and being transparent with one another, you will be much more successful at avoiding Satan's trap of offense in your marriage. When you are irritated or angry with your spouse, tell them! Don't let it build up inside of you to the point where you explode.
This week as you seek to build and improve upon your marriage, make it a point to communicate your feelings to one another, keeping in mind that your spouse is not the enemy, and that Satan is the one attempting to sow strife and offense into your marriage. As you become more and more accustomed to communicating and being open with one another, you will find yourselves arguing less and less, and you'll also discover an intimacy with your spouse that is beyond anything you have ever experienced together.
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7 comments:
Wow. This is SO true in many relationships. I read this thinking, "WOW, that's me!" Communication is so important. Without it, everything is so foggy.
I just got married 2 mos. ago so we haven't had this problem yet. :) But I will be sure to keep this in mind if/when that time comes. I think women expect men to be just as observant as they are. (women usually are) And men are usually oblivious as to what's going on around them or observing if their spouse is not happy. Women can tell this by his face at a glance but for men, I think (generally) you have to spell it out for them. :)
Hey. I thought I'd stop by your blog again. Something you said on my blog reminded me of a song we sing in church.
Part of the song says that "with God, I am never alone."
I've been married going on 25 years, so yes i can relate to this post. But I must say that God did bless me with a wonderful husband. Sometimes satan tries to wiggle his way in, but our faith in God keeps us strong. To God Be The Glory. God Bless you Michael.
I understand your church promotes "speaking in tongues" which I further understand to be the language of the Devil. This word has been handed down for thousands of years, long before your Groups brief history. The teachings you promote remind me of the Reverend Jim Jones of Guyana fame. Are we to assume that 5,000 followers will be drinking your Kool Aid soon?
What is your Groups policy on Abortion and people who have had them?
Anonymous:
First off I would like to point out to you that I am not the pastor of Victory World Church. Your comments are obviously meant to be directed to the church staff.
I assure you that speaking in tongues is not the language of the devil. There is a plethera of biblical evidence proving that tongues is a gift from God and that it every much for today's believer as it was for the original apostles. I encourage you to spend some time in the Word to dicover this truth.
As far as your comment concerning abortion I am not going to answer that. If you would like to address this with the church you will find a link to their website in the original post.
Peace be with you.
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